A friend of mine told me yesterday that someone in her congregation said she wasn't sure that Unitarian Universalism was really for kids.  I suppose that if you have a rather narrow idea of what our religion is all about, then perhaps that is true.  If you see us as merely a group of come-outers which have rejected the faith of their childhoods and found like-minded folks who are fellow skeptics, then perhaps I might agree.

But I believe Unitarian Universalism is much more than a place to go when you're running away from something.  At the heart of our religion is the idea of questioning, seeking, wondering, exploring ideas and changing our minds when new things become important.  And isn't that what childhood is all about?

Children have a natural curiousity about the world and about life.  One of the most frequently heard questions is "why?"  And many times they are not likely to take an adult's answer at face value.  There are always more questions. Often times the adult who is being queried can become flustered by the follow-ups, particularly when they believed that they did a good job of articulating a thoughtful response in the first place.

And when it comes to ambiguity, most children handle it quite well.  After all, their world is full of uncertainty.  They learn about divorce and wonder: Will my parents stay together?  They learn about death and are concerned about when they themselves (or their loved ones) will die.  They even wonder what tomorrow will bring -- is it a school day or a weekend?  They live in a reality where much of life is unknown, so while they ask a lot of questions in order to bring what they can into focus, they are used to a certain level of ambiguity about the world that many adults would find difficult to stomach.

Many of our adults come to our congregations for community.  They like the feeling of belonging, of being part of a group where they feel welcomed and their opinions are respected.  Children also feel the need to be in community -- not only with one another, but also with the larger congregation of adults which can support them and their parent(s) as they grow and develop into their full potential.  Ideally, our churches serve the function that our neighborhoods once did -- adults are around who know you and your parents.  Adults in this type of "neighborhood" church can call you on your inappropriate behavior, applaud your accomplishments, and mentor you through the challenging times.

Perhaps the argument that Unitarian Universalism may not be really for children is that our worship services are too intellectual and "heady."  If this is so, then we are also making assumptions -- not only about children, but about adults, too.  Not every adult comes to church on Sunday mornings to hear a lecture or historical perspective on an important issue.  After all, that's what college courses are for.  Many of us seek a greater understanding and a deeper connection beyond an intellectual stirring.  Many of us adults -- like children -- want to feel moved and touched by the worship experience, not just intellectually challenged.

However, if its all about the coffee (as some have been heard to joke), then I'm afraid you've got me there.  The taste of that beverage is just way too bitter for a child's palate -- and they certainly don't need the caffeine.

 

:) Thanks for this. I love the examples of the kinds of uncertainty children live with, and their constant questioning and changing of opinions. Given this, it's amazing we don't have higher numbers of kids and youth. My first sermon as Family Minister touches on this; it's on my blog at http://ironicschmoozer.wordpress.com/category/sermons/
Roger Jones
UU Society of Sacramento