I had an epiphany when flying back from San Antonio after the LREDA conference.  For many years now, I've had a fear of flying.  I thought it was a control issue.  Now I know its a question of faith, and I don't do blind faith all that well.

I recognize that I am much more likely to die in a car crash and the sheer number of flights every day from every airport every hour result in a pretty low likelihood of my going down in a firery airplane disaster.  However, despite my "thinking" brain which mulls over statistics and intellecualizes the low likelihood of such a disaster, my gut would go bonkers whenever I had to fly somewhere.  The phsyiological response could not be denied, no matter how much I tried to reason myself out of the fear.  Now at last I understand why.

Flying in an airplane requires a great deal of faith.  Faith not only in the pilot and the belief that he or she has not had too many drinks, or is stressed out and distracted by an upcoming divorce or lack of sleep because of the newborn who has just joined the family -- but faith also in the mechanics who service the plane, their skill level, their attention to detail and all the other people involved in the technical aspects of the flight process.  Worse yet, I'm expected to have faith in the airline itself -- that it is not overscheduling the pilots, that it is willing to put money behind the needed repairs and is not willing to cut costs by ignoring safety concerns.

That's an awfully big faith leap for me to take.  But take it I must everytime I fly.  No wonder I'm a nervous wreck.  Now I finally understand why airline flight is so difficult for me.  Because no matter how hard I try to rationalize it away, I can't.  And that's because it has nothing to do with the rational mind -- and everything to do with faith.